Some Considered Suggestions

Having recently spent some time at the Disney Hollywood Studios, I feel compelled to offer some suggestions to provide attractions of greater interest, as apart from a nifty roller coaster and a terrifying plunge ride, the theme park seems mostly to consist of shops all selling more or less the same thing.

1. How about a James Bond ride? You could climb into an Aston Martin simulator and back up Double-O Seven and fight Goldfinger’s brother, Copperfinger, or maybe even Goldsting.

2. So you have Star Wars. Why not Star Trek? As a matter of fact, why not model off of Epcot’s Mission: Space, and create a simulator ride that’s a shuttlecraft to the Enterprise? (Although I think what everyone would REALLY want would be the chance to have a lirpa fight to the death, or maybe a styrfoam rock fight with a Gorn.)

3. As long as we’re talking about science fiction, why not a ride that’s an homage to ’70s science fiction greats? You could flee from some Sandmen or play Rollerball. Maybe the reason the carts always turn up empty in the ride is that they deposit all the visitors in Soylent Green vats…